Whether it’s your first time getting busy or you’ve been around the boudoir, your sexual health matters. In fact, a healthy sex life is an essential part of overall well-being, promoting better sleep, boosting mental health, and even increasing longevity. But beyond the physical perks, good sex can have a positive ripple effect on your relationship as a whole.
“Sex offers a space where partners can be vulnerable in a way that is distinct from daily responsibilities,” says Lilithfoxx, CSE, a sexologist and sex educator based in Houston, Texas. “When partners feel wanted and connected physically, they often feel more emotionally secure as well—and that shared vulnerability builds trust.”
But, even with so many benefits (and the obvious fun factor), it’s easy to let your sex life slip into autopilot mode. But trying new sex positions—or a variation of one you already love—can make sex feel more spontaneous and keep the desire alive, Lilithfoxx says. A simple and sexy way to start? Try a twist on the missionary position.
It’s classic for a reason: Missionary sex is ideal for sexy eye contact and feeling super close to your partner, both physically and emotionally. Even if you think the OG version is too “vanilla” for your tastes, these 9 sexpert-approved variations are anything but boring.
9 Missionary Sex Position Variations to Try
At Women’s Health, we aim to describe sexual experiences as inclusively as possible. While many of the positions on this list have traditionally been associated with penis-in-vagina sex, they can be adapted by couples of all genders and sexual orientations and identities. We encourage readers to modify any position to suit their bodies, preferences, and needs. To avoid making assumptions about gender or anatomy, we use non-gendered language throughout this article. The “giving partner” or “giver” refers to the partner doing the penetrating, whether with a penis, a strap-on, or even fingers. The “receiving partner” or “receiver” refers to the partner being penetrated vaginally or anally.
1. Cross-Booty
How to: The Cross-Booty position gives you the closeness of missionary but with a fun twist (literally). The giving partner enters the receiver from the missionary position, then slides their chest and legs off the receiver's body so that their pelvis is in the same location, but their limbs form an "X" with the bottom partner's.
Benefits: This variation changes how your bodies line up, but you’ll still be close together, creating new physical sensations, says Lilithfoxx. It also “gives the receiving partner more opportunity to hold or anchor themselves against their partner’s body,” she adds.
2. The Ballet Dancer
How to: Standing face to face, the receiving partner lifts one leg and wraps it around the giver’s waist while balancing on the other foot. The giving partner supports the receiver by holding their thigh or hips while entering and guiding movement.
Benefits: “Bringing missionary into a standing position can make the experience feel more charged and embodied, especially for people who enjoy feeling physically supported while staying face to face and connected,” Lilithfoxx says.
Make it hotter: Depending on the receiving partner's flexibility, they can also move their leg higher to allow for deeper penetration.
3. Reverse Scoop
How to: This one's basically missionary but with both partners on their sides—think of it as cuddling while having penetrative sex. Use your arms and legs to support your upper bodies and maintain alignment while adjusting depth and rhythm as needed.
Benefits: “Side-by-side positioning tends to reduce physical strain, making it a good option for slower, more relaxed intimacy,” Lilithfoxx says, adding that this variation enhances comfort and emotional closeness. What could be better?
4. The Cowboy
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back while the giving partner straddles them from above. The receiver keeps their legs partially closed as the giver enters, creating a narrower opening. From here, the giving partner can control depth and pace of penetration.
Benefits: “Keeping the [receiver’s] legs closer together can increase pressure and friction, which many people find amplifies sensation and helps maintain steady stimulation,” Lilithfoxx says.
5. The Seashell
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back and lifts their legs upward, bringing them as close to their torso as possible. The giving partner enters from a missionary position, adjusting alignment for comfort and depth.
In this position, the receiver can cross their ankles behind their head, but if that's asking a little too much (fair), they can just bring their knees to their shoulders, says Nan Wise, PhD, a cognitive neuroscience researcher, sex and relationship therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters.
Benefits: “Folding the body inward changes pelvic alignment and often makes sensation feel more concentrated,” Lilithfoxx says. This can work well for people who enjoy combining penetration with added external stimulation, she adds.
Make it hotter: The receiving partner can reach down with a free hand or grab a vibrator to stimulate their clitoris as their partner thrusts inside them.
6. The Spork
How to: The receiving partner lies on their back and lifts one leg while the giving partner enters from a missionary position. The receiver can keep their other leg extended or bent, depending on what feels best in their body. For a rear-entry option, the receiving partner can lie on their stomach with one leg bent while the giver positions themselves between their legs, creating a similar asymmetrical angle, but from behind.
Benefits: “Lifting one leg creates asymmetry in the hips, which can change the depth and angle in ways that feel more targeted or controlled,” says Lilithfoxx. This is great for partners who already love classic missionary, but want to explore subtle adjustments in sensation, she says.
7. Lifted Missionary
How to: Invest in a sex pillow (or just grab a pillow you already own!) and slide it under the receiving partner to get the angle just right.
Benefits: “Elevating the hips with a pillow helps align the pelvis in a way that can make movement feel smoother and give better access for touch or vibration, especially when comfort is a priority,” Lilithfoxx says.
Make it hotter: Lifted missionary might also grant the giving partner better access to the receiver's clit, if they'd like to use a hand or vibrator for some added stimulation. A small wand, like the Magic Wand Micro, is easy for the giving partner to hold in this position and fits well between bodies.
8. Standing Missionary
How to: This one’s pretty self-explanatory!
Benefits: The major benefit to this variation is novelty and spontaneity, Lilithfoxx says, adding that it “can shift the energy of sex without requiring complex movement.” Even with an amped-up sense of urgency, this version still preserves the face-to-face intimacy that makes missionary appealing in the first place.
The only caveat: If the penetrating partner is much taller or shorter than the receiving partner, this position might not work as well. (But that’s okay—there are eight other variations at your disposal!)
Make it hotter: Try standing missionary in the shower, kitchen, outdoors, or anywhere your imagination takes you. Just make sure to set down a non-slip bath mat if you decide to get wet and wild, and otherwise beware of your surroundings so you don’t accidentally knock into anything.
9. The Coital Alignment Technique
How to: Starting in missionary, the giving partner shifts their body slightly upward so their pelvis aligns with the receiving partner’s clitoris. Instead of thrusting in and out, both partners focus on rocking and grinding movements to maintain consistent external stimulation.
Benefits: “The CAT allows you to grind against your partner’s pelvic bone or base of the shaft, providing more external stimulation to the clitoral head and hood (as well as the internal rod/shaft of the clitoris),” says Jess O'Reilly, PhD, sexologist and author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: Techniques and Strategies for Mind-Blowing Sex. Besides this position being more physically pleasurable than traditional missionary, it can be more emotionally fulfilling, too. “The rocking motion places sustained attention on external stimulation rather than deep thrusting, which many people experience as more connected and easier to sustain over time,” Lilithfoxx says.
The second perk of the coital alignment technique is its ability to draw out intercourse because of the way the giving partner has to position their body in order to spotlight the receiver's clit. Penetration won't feel quite as deep to the giver, says Wise, so it will likely take them a few more thrusts (at least) than usual to climax.
Make it hotter: Use this technique to practice edging. It’s also perfect for those who tend to finish too soon and want to keep things going for as long as possible.
7 Tips to Make Missionary Sex Even Hotter
Ready to level up your lovemaking? Ahead, the sex experts share seven ways to pump up pleasure in the missionary position:
1. Don't underestimate the importance of erotic play.
What some might consider foreplay, Wise calls “erotic play.” Foreplay promotes the separation of the “beginning” from the “main event” when, in reality, it's all sex—as long as you're feeling pleasure, she says.
Don't downplay the build-up, because it's super important for getting into and staying in the ideal headspace for what's to come. “Erotic play is important with all positions,” says Debra Laino, DHS, a sex educator and clinical sexologist in Wilmington, Delaware. “But because of the intensity of missionary, it’s especially nice to work into it.” (Gradual = less awkward, especially with a newer partner.)
So, instead of relying solely on the sensuality of missionary to make you feel connected to your partner, warm up with some kissing, above-the-waist action, and fingering, says Laino. Or, if that's not your move, you and your partner can build intimacy by transitioning from kissing to oral sex to intercourse.
2. Show your nipples some love...
Breasts and nipples are two of the biggest erogenous zones, so give them some TLC. Massage, suck, clamp, or lightly pinch them during sex, says Ian Kerner, LMFT, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
If you're on the receiving end of missionary, position yourself underneath your partner for chest-to-chest contact. This way, you can take toys and fingers out of the equation completely while your partner's chest rubs against yours as they thrust. It might even be enough stimulation for a nipple orgasm.
3. ...And your other erogenous zones, too.
Don't forget to stimulate areas that aren't between your legs or on your chest. Some less obvious erogenous zones are your ears and neck, says Wise. Ask your partner to lightly graze their fingernails against the back of your neck, or put your tongue in their ear after playfully tugging on their earlobe with your teeth.
You can also rub a sensual massage oil onto your partner's erogenous zones (and vice versa!) to create an intimate pre-coital experience. Plus, the gentle oils can reduce the harsh kind of friction as your bodies rub against each other in the missionary position. "Lathering yourselves with massage oil can create a different sensation with skin-to-skin contact," says Janet Brito, PhD, a sex therapist based in Honolulu. "Just put a towel underneath if you care about your sheets!"
Of course, what might feel good to you might not be a sexy zone for your partner, so get their okay beforehand or stop if they say it's not their thing.
4. Adjust your rhythm.
Sex isn't a race (unless you're looking for a quickie). So, instead of rushing to orgasm, slow down, says Wise. Focus on your breath and try to sync your exhales with your partner's. This allows you to savor the sexual sensations you're experiencing as a unit.
Or, in a move borrowed from tantric sex, you might exhale into your partner's mouth while they inhale. Not only is this incredibly intimate, but taking deeper breaths will also increase blood flow and circulation to your pelvic area, upping physical arousal, Wise says.
Still not it? Try switching up your moves while you slow down, says O'Reilly. Mix up the rhythm by moving your hips in a circular motion instead of simply moving up and down, she suggests.
5. Play with angles.
The best part of missionary is how easily you can change the placement and intensity of stimulation—just by switching your body angles. If partners want to experience deeper penetration, the receiver can place a pillow beneath their lower back to prop up their pelvis, says Wise. Tilting their pelvis upward forces the giving partner to thrust downward, and thus, more deeply. For shallower penetration, couples can try CAT.
6. Bring a vibrator into the mix.
To spice up the stimulation, bring your vibrator into bed. Use it before penetration—on your thighs, nipples, neck, and any other place on your body you'd like to amp up excitement, Laino says. Or when the giving partner is on top, they can lean on their knees while they're inside the receiver and use the vibe on their clitoris, in sort of a modified missionary position, she explains.
The penetrating partner can even wear a vibrating cock ring to target the receiver's clitoris and help them last longer, says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a sex therapist and psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida.
7. Give feedback.
This goes for any sex position, but especially missionary, since you don't want your partner to think you think the sex is boring. “Take advantage of this [face-to-face position] to vocalize your pleasure,” says Wise. “By freeing yourself to make noise, you can supercharge your sexual experience.” So, if you feel something (good), say something—or even moan something.
Not only will hearing your own pleasure enhance your experience, but whispering positive affirmations into your partner's ear will also give them the push they need to get more adventurous or stimulate that area you love in new ways. Win-win, right?
And, of course, you can always ask for feedback, too. “Check in during sex play to see what feels best,” O'Reilly says. “'Do you like that? More here or there? Harder or softer? Slower or faster?'” Communication is just another way to make missionary even more exciting.
Meet the Experts:
- Lilithfoxx, ABS, CSE, is a board-certified sexologist and and sex educator based in Houston, Texas.
- Debra Laino, DHS, is an AASECT-certified sex educator and a board-certified clinical sexologist in Wilmington, Delware.
- Nan Wise, PhD, is a cognitive neuroscience researcher, certified sex and relationship therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters.
- Jess O'Reilly, PhD, is a sexologist and author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: Techniques and Strategies for Mind-Blowing Sex.
- Ian Kerner, LMFT, PhD, is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
- Janet Brito, PhD, is an AASECT-certified sex therapist based in Honolulu.
- Rachel Needle, PsyD, is a clinical sex therapist and licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida.
Tianna is the former associate health and wellness editor at Women’s Health. Her writing on wellness and relationships has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Elite Daily, Glamour, mindbodygreen, and more. She holds a M.A. in clinical psychology in education from Columbia University and is a certified yoga instructor. When she’s not writing, you can find her traveling, trying new workout classes, and speaking with audiences about mental health.
Lydia Wang is the love & life editor at Women’s Health, where she writes and edits content about sexual health, love and relationships, queerness, sex tech, and astrology. She is also the co-author of the romance novel Here For The Wrong Reasons, and previously covered sex and dating for Refinery29, Elite Daily, and more. When she’s not diving deep into the latest sex trends or researching the best vibrators on the market, you can find her reading at a coffee shop or watching reality TV.
